It’s been a buzz word in the mama blog world. Intentions.
My friend Hannah over at The Big To Do List has an inspiring post about setting intentions for the new year. Her intention for 2017 is self-care and she has a lot of really good things to say about it.
If you’ve been hanging around this blog long enough you know that I’m pretty passionate about doing things with intention. My intention for this year is to disappoint the people in my inner circle as little as possible.
As with any worthwhile endeavor I am learning that this goal has layers.
There is so much more to it than that. I am learning that not disappointing my people doesn’t just look like staying home and being cozy and having arts and crafts every afternoon. We do a lot of that stuff, but having my life revolve around that will soon drive me crazy.
Another layer must be added and then another so we can have depth. Deep relationships are sticky (the good kind of sticky not the jam on your kitchen chairs kind of sticky). The kind of sticky that bonds mamas and daddies to their babies, husbands and wives to each other and siblings to one another.
Not disappointing my inner circle has become about truth telling. It requires me to tell the truth about my needs. You know in a calm kind way that nobody in their right mind could ever label as bat shit crazy. (I’m still working on managing this successfully).
“Mommy needs to rest (breathe, deal with one request at a time, poop alone, swig wine from the bottle) right now so I need you to be patient.”
There is some acrobatics involved as I balance sacrifice and self-care. Oh how I would love to spend my evenings crocheting and watching Netflix. Alone. Uninterrupted. Sometimes I do. Because honestly I don’t feel like sharing the love of Lego Star Wars with the rest of my family really benefits our relationship.
Lots of times I sacrifice my precious alone time to do something all together. I don’t do this as a martyr. I do it because I know these days of my kids wanting me to be a very present participator in their lives will soon change and if I flitter it away I will have missed my chance. Plus once we get started on a game or project it’s usually pretty fun.
I try really hard to step away to focus on me so that I can be all there when I am with them. I have scheduled 2 hours of solo work time into nearly every day. This allows me to zero in on writing here or working on my email newsletter or any other creative project I have up my sleeve. This cuts down on me trying to multi-task and becoming frustrated with them and me.
I’m learning to step away from social media. Splitting my attention between Facebook and face to face interaction does not work. Plus I wouldn’t do that if I was having coffee with a friend so why would I do it when my child is speaking to me?
This doesn’t mean that I don’t fail. I fail at all of this daily. It is so important to me that my children and my husband know that they are loved and that I like their company. It is so important to me that these people stay my inner circle that I am willing to endure a regular meal of humble pie, then pick myself up and carry on.
Have you set any intentions for 2017? Do you have one word to focus on for the year? I’d love to hear about it.